judys care giver blog

A Trick Question???

This is a post that I wrote on another blog that I no longer tend to. When you read it you may ask how it works for the caregiver. I believe that if you get it, understand it and take it for what it is worth, it could be not only be a way to look at caregiving but a way to look at life.

A Trick Question

We have all heard of the glass being half empty or half full right. Someone asks you to imaging a glass in front of you and the liquid inside has been poured to the center line. I prefer vodka but you can put any liquid you want in the glass. Then you are asked the proverbial question. Do you see the glass as half full or half empty. Go ahead an answer now.

 

 

 This quick and simple little test is supposed to answer a bigger question. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? So based on what you decided earlier, do you think the test is right?   

 

I say NO!

 

In my opinion (and of course that’s all I give around hear) it’s a trick question.

I have always seen the glass as being full. Not half full, FULL.

Even though we don’t see it, there is something in the rest of that glass. Air…  Dust… Your reflection.  Whatever it is, something is in the glass at all times.

Is this some deeper test of your perceptions?  No.  Does it mean that if you see the glass as always full you’re a complete and total optimist who is happy all the time? HELL NO!

We are all pessimist. We are all optimist. It just depends on our mood and our circumstances at that moment.

 

As I see it, it just means that I have good moments and bad moments. I feel tragedy, loss, sadness and fear. I also feel joy, love, hope and excitement.  

 

A full glass is all consuming, and it is filled to the brim with all these things. What I am saying is everything that has happened in my life has made me who I am today and that will continue to happen till the day they put me in the ground. Every day, hour, minute and second of my life, whether good or bad, makes me who I am. Possative or negative, it is still there and how I deal with it makes me who I am. It is an uneasy and sometimes scary choice on how we tackel it. but we still do it. the good. The bad. Thats life. I say embace it all. Learn from it, enjoy it, remember it, love it.

 

We all have a life. When I see the glass this way it means I have a full life.

 

 

 

SO, would you like to retake the test and answer the question again?

We have all heard of the glass being half empty or half full right. Someone asks you to imaging a glass in front of you and the liquid inside has been poured to the center line. I prefer vodka but you can put any liquid you want in the glass. Then you are asked the proverbial question. Do you see the glass as half full or half empty. Go ahead an answer now.

 

 

 This quick and simple little test is supposed to answer a bigger question. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? So based on what you decided earlier, do you think the test is right?   

 

I say NO!

 

In my opinion (and of course that’s all I give around hear) it’s a trick question.

I have always seen the glass as being full. Not half full, FULL.

Even though we don’t see it, there is something in the rest of that glass. Air…  Dust… Your reflection.  Whatever it is, something is in the glass at all times.

Is this some deeper test of your perceptions?  No.  Does it mean that if you see the glass as always full you’re a complete and total optimist who is happy all the time? HELL NO!

We are all pessimist. We are all optimist. It just depends on our mood and our circumstances at that moment.

 

As I see it, it just means that I have good moments and bad moments. I feel tragedy, loss, sadness and fear. I also feel joy, love, hope and excitement.  

 

A full glass is all consuming, and it is filled to the brim with all these things. What I am saying is everything that has happened in my life has made me who I am today and that will continue to happen till the day they put me in the ground. Every day, hour, minute and second of my life, whether good or bad, makes me who I am. Possative or negative, it is still there and how I deal with it makes me who I am. It is an uneasy and sometimes scary choice on how we tackel it. but we still do it. the good. The bad. Thats life. I say embace it all. Learn from it, enjoy it, remember it, love it.

 

We all have a life. When I see the glass this way it means I have a full life.

 

 

 

SO, would you like to retake the test and answer the question again?

Take Time To Say It

I say it every day. I tell my kids when they are running out the door. I tell my mother when she goes to sleep every night. I make sure my friends know it when they are having a bad day. My husband and I tell each other every time we are done with a conversation on the phone, after we have a stupid fight and before we fall asleep. Its is so simple and yet sometimes lost in our everyday lives.

There are times when we refuse to say it because we are angry or frustrated. Then there are times when it is used as a weapon. Sometimes we can be careless with it. Sometimes we can be afraid of it. There are even some who will die for it.

Looking back I wish I had said it more. To my mother. To my father. All I can do now is say it as much as I can and as often as I can to everyone I care about. Being a caregiver makes you think about the should a could a would a in life. This is one thing I don't ever want to look back on and say I should a said  more.

Take time to say it.

    love you

get your purple on people

Today is world alz. day

It is as simple as wearing a purple ribbon.

go to alz.org to find out others ways to support the cause

2 Peas in a Pod

Frustrated with Food.

I am sooooooo frustrated! Getting Judy to eat anything is like getting a colicky baby to stop crying. I have tried everything. We stock the fridge with her favorite foods. French toast, strawberry cream cheese, bacon for BLTs, burgers, tacos, the list goes on and on. I have had her help prepare meals. I have given her smaller meals. I have cut up her food. But nothing works. She will eat a bite or two and then dump in the trash or the sink. And when I try to explain why she needs to eat she just giggles. This is not a joke and yet she keeps playing the same games.

After my mother had her heart attack she stayed in a rehabilitation hospital for 3 months. For the first month she was hooked up to a feeding tube that went straight into her stomach. My fear is that if she doesn’t start eating they will have to put her back on a tube. I have read a lot about dementia and eating habits and there are so many different reasons for why she may not be eating.

I have made yet another doctors appointment to discuss her options, but I don’t know how much it will help. Her doctors keep saying that as long as her weight isn’t in flux there’s nothing to worry about. They haven’t found any physical reason for why she won’t eat. So far all they have come up with is the possibility that her brain might not be sending hunger signals to the rest of her body. Dementia is such a crazy thing. Any tricks or ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks