I just finished watching ABC's Primetime Family Secrets. I wanted to name this post, fu****g Idiots, but I held back. The show was about a family in turmoil over taking care of their mother with Alzheimer's. You want complete honesty. I didn't know whether to cry or throw something at my TV. My heart was full of sadness and sympathy but my head hurt from all the anger. Even my children who spend almost as much time as I do taking care of Judy were angry and hurt by what they were seeing. This family was lost in a battlefield with no artillery but they are not the only ones. If you didn't watch, here is the web page to find out more.
http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/AlzheimersNews/story?id=7942083&page=1
The reality is there are to many families dealing with this problem and they have no Idea what they are doing. Caregivers of family members with Alzheimer's and Dementia are confused and frustrated. What's worse is, neglect and abuse are ramped. If you don't have the basic tools to take care of yourself, how can you take care of your loved one.
I can’t really say I blame them for some of there actions. Seeing as I started this with complete honesty I guess I should continue. Truth is I have been there. I have yelled at my mother when I knew she had no idea why I was frustrated. I have started fights with family members because I felt alone. I have made jokes at Judy's expense to lighten the mood. I have thrown things and cried out loud to no avail. So I understand that I am no better or worse then this family who offered to share there story on national television. Having said this, I also know that I did these things because I didn't know any better. When I took the time to learn about this disease, and learn about my mother as a woman with a disease. I could see things in a better light. Not a perfect light but a better light.
So what do we do? Is there a way to make things easier? There is always a way. The problem is you shouldn't have to look for it. If you are given power of attorney and legal guardianship of a disabled parent you should have help waiting for you. In my opinion there should be mandatory courses to help you deal with the life you are about to be in complete control of and the life you will ultimately give up because of it. At this point if I continue it will just be rambling because I have so much to say about it. I will have more on this in the next few days. For now please let me know what you think, and thanks for letting me get that of my chest.
