6 or 60 My Age Old Question

It’s been said that age is a mind set; that you are only as old as you feel. Well, with Judy that takes on an entirely new meaning. On any given day my mother’s mind can be 6 to 60 years old, and that makes for a fine line between mother and child.

On one occasion my mother threw a temper tantrum because I wouldn’t let her go outside to ride her bike: “Mom you don’t have a bike”, “Yes I do and you wont let me ride it.” “ I’m sorry but I don’t know what your talking about mom.” “My bike, I got it for my birthday and I want to ride it.” This conversation went on for a few minutes before my mother threw up her hands and yelled in her highest pitch “I hate you. You never let me do anything.”

Judy’s actions, speech and temperament reminded me of my children when they were little. And I believe that in her head she was a kid again.

Taking care of Judy is a full time job. The feedings, bathing, dressings, keeping her safe, making sure she is comfortable, dealing with tantrums, keeping, her from climbing out a window, ect. It is just like having another child except for one tiny little itty bitty difference. Judy is not a child. She is a 60 year old woman. She has lived her life. She managed to live through so much; A husband in the navy gone six months out of every year, two teenage daughters, ovarian cancer, skin cancer and breast cancer. I mean come on…The woman had a massive heart attach and survived. She deserves nothing but respect and admiration. Yet I have moments when I find myself treating her like a baby.

I have become my mother’s mother. So you can see how it can be a bit perplexed. Sometimes she even calls me mom. You know all the role reversal movies like freaky Friday and 17again. Hollywood makes it look so cool but in real life it sucks. It breaks my heart every time I have to say no to my mother. ‘No we cant go out right now’, ‘No you cant drive the car’, ‘No you cant say that to your grandchildren’. All the while I am still a 38 year old housewife just trying to keep my family together, my mom safe, and, my sanity intact.

So back to the fine line. When it comes down to it I still listen to my mother. So when she wants to have a conversation with me on an adult level I sit down and we talk. When she is in the middle of a tantrum I tell her no and try to explain that that’s not how we do things and when she is confused and scared I hug her and say its ok, I’m not going anywhere.

So on any day at any given time Judy can be 6 16 or 60. The hard part is figuring out what age she’s at and then trying to keep up. I just want to make sure that no matter what age she’s at we are all able to get through it with her so she is not alone.